By Valerie Bustamante
LOGOS ASSISTANT EDITOR
Almost two months ago I shared in a column about my decision to let go of someone I really cared for and loved after having my heart broken by him.
Within that two-month span it was difficult to adjust to not waking up to text messages from this person and not seeing him on the weekends. On several occasions I’d catch myself wanting to call him before stopping myself from actually dialing the number.
It didn’t help that a couple of weeks into our breakup, he reached out to me with a phone call; a phone call that was nothing, but sobs and a bunch of “I’m sorry” remarks.
He told me he was sorry about what he had done and missed me. The next day after contacting him, he acted as if nothing had happened.
And then it happened again. Another call about how I was missed and if I could forgive him. For a couple of days we talked like normal. A part of me felt “happy” to have him again.
However, at the same time I knew it didn’t feel the same anymore. I knew in my gut there was a lot of trust lost when our relationship ended two months ago. I didn’t feel as if I could believe anything he said anymore.
After thinking we were going to be together, he began acting different again. Nothing he said was adding up, and I had already used up all the patience I had for him.
This marked the last time we would ever speak and I made the decision it was time to go our separate ways for good this time.
That day I disconnected all connection with him. I finally felt as if I could breathe.
As much as it hurt, it was time to stop thinking of what used to exist between us and start thinking of myself.
The day I made this decision, I came home to these little yellow flowers in a vase from my aunt. When I gave her a hug and told her “Thank you,” she replied by saying, “ ‘Remember to love yourself first.’ ”
And she was right. It was time to stop thinking of my past with him and start looking towards loving myself more. It was time to stop wanting to be loved by someone who only caused hurt.
Taking the time to tend to yourself mentally and physically is always necessary in life. At times we feel tired, lonely, or even sometimes unmotivated and it is important when feeling this way to focus on ourselves.
Sometimes we get so caught up in what is happening in our lives we forget about our well-being and ourselves. It is not selfish to take the time to focus on just yourself for the time being.
Learning to love yourself ranges from embracing your values, your imperfections, and the many other things that make you a whole person.
Take the time to learn something new about yourself. Relax and remember your self-worth should always be a priority.
These last couple of weeks I’ve never felt more relieved and content with my life. It’s allowed me to remember my priorities as a person, student, friend and daughter.
In all honesty and as cheesy as it may sound, I’ve never felt more alive.
E-mail Bustamante at email@example.com